At the beginning of this year I din imagine that by the end of it I would be married.
Everything happened to me in a flash. Before I could wrap my head around what hit me, I was already floating past an engagement, rituals, relatives, the wedding flurry. I didn’t get time to process things.
I haven’t let myself feel anything by scanning just the tip of the iceberg. Underneath is a glacier I don’t want getting to me.
I feel tension, i feel an anger. I don’t have a commitment phobia. I am a loyal person but I fear that I may not be able to keep up with the change.
And this is a huge change. A change that I was looking for. I wanted everything to change. I am getting that. But this is slighter bigger than I can handle. Because it involves a lot of people. It’s not just something that happening only to me.
It might not be that hard. It might not be easy either. It’s just something I’ll have to figure out for myself.