You don’t need to be left alone. You can be right in the middle of a crowd, right there sitting besides your friends, right there doing your daily chores on auto pilot, right there talking face to face with someone but in the inside of you there’s a big chunk missing.
There is a voice that hisses to you “You are not required”. And so you distance yourself. You watch from the sidelines and you realise the voice is right. The voice is the only one telling you the truth.
However much you might try to explain this to others, they will not understand it. Bcoz they dont know the exact words the voice whispers to you. They don’t have that voice in their ears. Some will sympathize with you and tell you they understand. But they don’t actually. They are just being kind. And others will tell you that you have done this to yourself. You have to figure out a way to get up/get out/get whatever you need.
How do you express out how much it takes of you to wake up each day and tell yourself , ” It’s just another 24 hours. It’s going to be okay.” How do you express how you feel when it’s difficult to get a grasp on your own inner mess of emotions?