Self-Care isn’t easy!!

For the last two years, I have been trying consciously to focus on self-care as a priority.

But there are certain factors that make this process hard at times.

  • It is difficult to practise. For instance: limiting my social media time. It was easy to draw a schedule for no screen time but when it comes to actually following it – there’s that temptation, a need for distraction or just the fact that I’m not able to go to sleep that draws me back online.
  • Lack of instant measurable results. I’m used to tracking my progress on things. Hence, when I’m trying to work on my insecurities, and there are no visible results to look at, how do I know if there is progress?
  • Reactions of others. Now, I know, how people react is not in our hands. But I get beleaguered by opinions irrespective of whether I have asked for them or not. And many times, these reactions are along the lines of “This isn’t a great achievement” “Stop being so loud” “I have bigger-and-better news” and then I’m at a loss about how to handle my emotions in real time.

If only self-care was as easy as putting on a face mask. But it isn’t! It is going to be a life-long process bcoz there is always going to be room for growth. And if you come across any self-help book that claims that you’ll be Zen in 30 days or after following 7 steps, they are probably not going to be of much help.

Do not compare your troubles

Just like happiness shouldn’t be compared, troubles shouldn’t be compared too.

We are all different individuals with our own individual journeys. To one person thier career could be important, to someone else getting married to the love of thier lives, to someone overcoming thier physical handicaps and to somebody taking care of their families. We all have different priorities.

So then why is it that one person’s issues are considered less important than the other?

” Atleast you are better off than others. Other people have it worse.”

For me, my work stress could be taking up it’s entire toll on my physical health and you come up to me and say, “Well, atleast you don’t have to go home and cook!?”

So like, if you lose a loved one, do you go up to them and say, “Oh you know what, atleast you didn’t die as well.” Does it make thier suffering any less?

You could be drowning in a swimming pool or you could be drowning in the ocean, you are dead either ways. Just because your troubles are oceans and my troubles are swimming pool does not mean that my worries are non existent or not worth addressing.

And well what looks like a shallow swimming pool to you from afar, come in bit closer, wear my shoes – wear my entire circumstances, my previous life experiences, my nature – and tell me if you can swim to the surface.

And don’t talk to me about priveleged problems. Like, if I say my foot is fractured, don’t say, “Oh same, my eyeliner wasn’t straight at all today.”

And know this, if a person is telling you about thier troubles, it’s bcoz they trust you and they will feel a little better after talking to you.

So don’t say stuff like, “Gosh, you are just complaining all the time.”

Help them instead.

In times of happiness we jump aboard the celebrations, in times of troubles, can we try to help each other to lessen the load?

You don’t have to go and do thier work for them. You can just listen to them without invalidating thier feelings.

​Day 30 Topic 30: Express

This is the last of my 30 day writing challenge post. 

I’m glad that I took up this challenge and made myself blog on a few topics because it helped me express myself a bit more. 

And I would like to urge you all readers to always express your thoughts. It is important to keep your opinions. At the same time, do question your beliefs. Sometimes, we tend to follow something just the way it is without knowing why. And when I question ‘Why’ I have noticed that the elders do not have any definitive answers to give me, except maybe giving me some ‘u think u r too smart’ looks. 

But my opinion is that the whole point of getting educated was to broaden my thoughts. So why should I blindly follow something without knowing why? 

I don’t want to limit myself. And I don’t think anybody else should or allow anybody to tell us that we are limited in any way. 

Writing is also a great platform to express your thoughts. Blogging allows me to express without having to worry that my opinions will be cringed or mocked or met with an indifferent attitude. 

I hope for myself that I keep up writing regularly.