Thoughts · Uncategorized

I’m Trying to Know Me

Since last year, I have been spending a lot of time in self-reflection and trying to improve myself and I want to say trying to get to know me has been harder than when I try to understand others.

My therapist is always encouraging me to identify my “triggers” and the only diagnosis I have made so far are that my triggers are also as moody as I am. So, I’m nowhere close to pin-pointing the source of my downer.

Some days I wake up feeling hopeful, despite clear odds of failure and some days when I know things cant be so bad, my mind blows it out of proportion. I get bored a lot. I always need to do things. And not just any things. Things such that I can look forward to getting them done and after I get them done, I feel better about them. And when I can’t think of such things and I have ample amount of time in hand, I am b-o-r-e-e-d.

I also feel alone a lot. I speak a lot but I feel alone a lot. Like, everybody else just catch my sound waves but don’t match my frequency. Like, nobody really understands what I’m trying to say.

I’m also very terrified of what may happen next. Many If? What If? questions arise and make me feel very anxious. I try a lot to cheer myself up, be my own cheer leader but I can’t help myself. I feel lost.

Uncategorized · Weekend Fun

The Couples Quiz

1. Who is grumpier in the morning?

πŸ™β€β™€οΈ

I’m very grumpy in the mornings. People are adviced not to approach me, until after an hour after I wake up. In contrast, my husband’s all energetic and is ready with a hug and I’m like no…..

2. Who takes a longer shower?

πŸ§”πŸšΏ

3. Who is the better driver?

πŸ§”

I’m not even a competition in this case!

4. Who said “I love you” first?

πŸ§”πŸ’Ÿ

5. Who starts the argument?

πŸ§β€β™€οΈ

It’s like, I can’t help it.

6. Who apologies first after an argument?

πŸ§”

Even if it’s not his mistake he will apologize just to diffuse the situation. If it’s my mistake, I do apologize but not immediately, after I have like, sulked and mused a little 😜

7. Who is more likely to be a sore loser?

πŸ™‹β€β™€οΈ

I hate to loose or be wrong about something.

8. Who holds the AC remote?

πŸ§”πŸ‘©

I’ll say 50-50. We start by switching the AC on and then switch it off in the middle of the night.

9. Who is better at keeping surprises?

πŸ™‹β€β™€οΈπŸŽ

I can plan an entire event and he wouldn’t notice but if he is hiding just one gift somewhere, I can immediately guess something’s on.

10. Who is most likely to eat pizza in the next 24 hours?

πŸ§”πŸ•

Always craving for it. Though I’m not saying I won’t join in if we order one πŸ˜‹

life · Uncategorized

I Understand What You Are Going Through

I believe that we can truly understand what someone else is going through only if we have gone through it ourselves.

For the past year, I have been dealing with some issues. And every time things don’t work out, I feel very angry and hurt. My family say to me that they understand what I feel. And whenever they say that, I just feel like screaming aloud in thier faces. But I don’t, bcoz one part of me knows that they are coming from a place of concern and they are saying what they think is the right thing to say to me in my crumpled motionless state.

But you can really understand what someone is feeling only when you have felt it too. Reading about it, hearing about it, watching someone struggle with it, is not the same as experiencing it first-hand.