Looking back…

One last time, so that this time when I look ahead, hopefully, I will not want to return.

2018 was a very difficult year for me. Too many things changed and I couldn’t keep up with it. There were days when the clouds didn’t clear. And when I used to ‘let out the storm’ it used to be a temporary escape. I could never truly be happy. My insecurities never let me be. I don’t know from where I brought the courage that I did to hold me up. So it’s a sort of relief to let 2018 go by.

I don’t believe in fresh new starts. Everything is gradual when it comes to me. I want to not have any expectations and in return I don’t want anything to mess with me. Whenever it wants, acceptance will come to me one day. Inching forward with baby steps to where ever this ride goes to next. 2019, let’s figure out stuff as and when it happens.

D for Dread 

It’s a feeling that makes me lose sleep willing tomorrow to not arrive so soon. 

It’s a feeling that quickens my heart beat and pricks up my ears for any sound of approaching concerns. 

It’s a feeling that wipes the smile from my face and puts the lines on my forehead. 

It’s a feeling I get when I know I should be facing things sooner and getting over with but I can’t bring myself to face it. 

​Book Reviews from My Pending Drafts – Book II

This post series is for all the book reviews that stayed pending in my drafts. Continuing from Book I. 

Book II – The Time Of My Life by Cecelia Ahern

I guess I was feeling symbolic when I picked this book up as the first thing to read in the new year 2016 as I had decided to basically give some time to myself. 
I was about to give up on this book after reading the first few pages but then soon as Lucy’s Life entered the picture – the book took on a whole new turn. 

Lucy is a mess. She gets fired from jobs, has been dumped by her boyfriend, is living in a one room studio that is barely clean & is ignoring her family and friends. She has spun a whole web of lies to make herself look good to others. And she is OK with it. Thing is her life isn’t! 

And he – her Life – comes calling and throws her a curveball. 

It’s really easy to relate to Lucy. And the concept of ur Life being an actual person is an interesting idea. What if u met ur life face to face? Would you be happy to see it glowing? Or would you be appalled at the state it is in? 

The book touches upon some fundas in life in a most humorous way. At some places, it really made me pause & think back a little. 

Small small pieces of advice by Lucy’s Life like:

We often do not pay enough attention to our lives by busying ourselves in other things – friend’s lives, work issues, car issues, that kind of thing. 

But with your life, you make a few bad decisions, get unlucky a few times, whatever, but you have to keep going right? Nobody can see the underneath part of who you are – how you’re hurting, how you’re unhappy. 

really make sense.  We are responsible for our own life and what happens in it. 

How else do you think life happens? 😊