Let it Out

I have a wealth of emotions. So much, that, I do not invest it properly. Hence, at times I end up spending a lot of energy on stuff that is not worth it. And sometimes, I take too little time to think and react and end up not giving something adequate time.

I recently learned that there are two kinds of feelings that are not good for someone like me.

  1. Suppressed feelings: These are feelings we consciously choose to push down. Like for example, suppose you had a huge fight with someone but you also have a meeting at work in the next 10 minutes. Then you consciously push down the anger and head into the meeting.
  2. Repressed feelings: These are feelings that we are unconsciously pushing down. Suppose say, you feel sad and feel like crying. But everyone around you says, you should thoughen up and tells you to stop crying then you end up not addressing the feeling of sadness at all.

Repressed feelings are more toxic as they keep coursing along in your system and sometimes mix in to a deadly cocktail.

I think, I am going to try, flushing out my system and draining out all the named and unnamed feelings that I feel, on a regular basis, can be one way for me to feel better.

I won’t know until I try, I guess.

Until I Let it Out.

Things I am apprehensive about post Lockdown

  • Conversations

Conversations in general and small talk in particular. It is going to feel like a first day at school after a really long summer holiday. And the first thing to do will be re-meeting up with people. It will be diving deep into an avalanche of updates about everyone’s life – updates that I am not sure I am personally interested in anymore.

  • Getting adjusted to the ‘new’ routine

Admit it, even though if we try to maintain the same schedule as before the Lockdown, it’s not going to feel familiar. It will definitely take a lot of getting used to for me and I’m worried because I don’t do well with change.

  • Going back to the ‘old me’

I have worked very hard on myself in this Lockdown. And being in contact with only my close people has been working for me. I do not want to get sucked in the daily drama of my old self again. I don’t want to be back on Square One.