Gauging and Shelving

We all have dreams. So, we paint a picture of what this dream looks like, of how we feel when it comes true. And we hold that image in our mind. But when, we do not take any actions towards moving closer to this dream, the image dangling infront of us begins to torture us.

I recently did an analysis of my goals in life and I realized that all the ones that I am not working actively towards need to be shifted to backlog. Instead, I am going to focus on those goals which I can turn into actionable steps.

I like to access my work to determine if I am on the right track. And, by learning it the hard way, I am going to finally try to do it right. By measuring my progress against myself. By reminding myself of where I started with/from to where I am now. To track that curve and watch it rise steadily higher.

Coz this is how I need to keep moving forward.

Directionless

In standard XII, my chemistry tutor told me an analogy. He said, “Imagine, you are kicking a football. But there is no goal post. You will be stuck kicking the ball aimlessly your whole life, if you do not have a goal.”

Right now, I feel like that imaginary football player. I am kicking my life around – taking it down memory lane, resting it on a Sunday afternoon gallery, speeding along the expressway of a job, mingling through gullys of friends and family – and yet all of this feels meaningless. It’s like when I am done kicking the ball of life, the whole day, I don’t know where to put it at night.

I wonder, is there a point to all of this? Is this daily society acceptable routine somehow magically going to take me on a road where the journey not only looks good; but also feels good?

Will I ever know what my goalpost is?

For a Better Me in 2021

Our offices have resumed in this new year, and we are encouraged to get back to our routine lives as before. I have hung new calendars all over the house, but… I still feel like I am stuck in 2020. Like it was a giant leap year that refuses to end.

I do not have any goals for myself this year. Forget, New Year Resolutions. I never seem to stick to them anyways, despite re-starting them several times in the year. So, I have stopped making them.

I do not feel very motivated for a brand new start nor do I want to get back to what I was pre-Covid.

Have you heard of the 1% Better Principle?
It says, “If you get one percent better each day for one year, you’ll end up thirty-seven times better by the time you’re done.” This is why small choices don’t make much of a difference at the time, but add up over the long-term.

Well, that is what my plan for 2021 is!

I am going to start with a small effective habit that doesn’t need much motivation and try to increase it gradually.

Of course, my biggest inhibitor are my emotions which run all over the place at the slightest provocation. But last year, I did a tracker in which I used to note down the days on which I feel sad, stressed or the days of my storm clouds. I tracked down my good days too and even kept of track of exercise, walking, driving – those kind of things. Every month when I used to look at the tracker, it was like an introspection.

And it helped me keep myself mostly sane during the lockdown. So, I am going to continue with it this year as well. And, Dad has given me a weekly planner on which I literally pounced with delight – because I love making to-do check lists!!

I do not have high hopes for this year. I am not aiming to be thirty-seven times better by the end of the year. But I haven’t placed the bar on the ground either.