For a Better Me in 2021

Our offices have resumed in this new year, and we are encouraged to get back to our routine lives as before. I have hung new calendars all over the house, but… I still feel like I am stuck in 2020. Like it was a giant leap year that refuses to end.

I do not have any goals for myself this year. Forget, New Year Resolutions. I never seem to stick to them anyways, despite re-starting them several times in the year. So, I have stopped making them.

I do not feel very motivated for a brand new start nor do I want to get back to what I was pre-Covid.

Have you heard of the 1% Better Principle?
It says, “If you get one percent better each day for one year, you’ll end up thirty-seven times better by the time you’re done.” This is why small choices don’t make much of a difference at the time, but add up over the long-term.

Well, that is what my plan for 2021 is!

I am going to start with a small effective habit that doesn’t need much motivation and try to increase it gradually.

Of course, my biggest inhibitor are my emotions which run all over the place at the slightest provocation. But last year, I did a tracker in which I used to note down the days on which I feel sad, stressed or the days of my storm clouds. I tracked down my good days too and even kept of track of exercise, walking, driving – those kind of things. Every month when I used to look at the tracker, it was like an introspection.

And it helped me keep myself mostly sane during the lockdown. So, I am going to continue with it this year as well. And, Dad has given me a weekly planner on which I literally pounced with delight – because I love making to-do check lists!!

I do not have high hopes for this year. I am not aiming to be thirty-seven times better by the end of the year. But I haven’t placed the bar on the ground either.

In Search of Something

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I don’t know what that really is but there is something that I keep looking out for. And I feel like I will never get it. The more my heart aches for something , the more my destiny makes sure that I will never get it. And the things that I have , I never wanted any of it nor did I ask for any of it.

So my search continues – full of blatant misgivings and distrustful hopes. I don’t know how this is going to end….I have no idea what I’m going to do…..

Expectations and Hopes

We generally expect a little bit of good from every day. I mean, at least, we hope the day to be good. This hope leads to expectations and expectations lead to great disappointments.

So never hope that something good will cross your way. Bcoz ‘goodness’ is a very rare entity in today’s times. Just stay neutral and let your days flow. If something good does turn up then let it be a pleasant surprise. 

My funda is that instead of expecting something and then being disappointed, it’s better to not expect anything or expect the worst and be surprised with the best. 

Because disappointment wilts me down in a deep dark tunnel of the most depressing thoughts and I find it difficult to fight it and come to the surface. Whereas pleasant surprises, they leave me in a good mood for days. 

The only problem right now is the wait – the wait for the good to come – that is testing me.