Mood diaries #5

I can’t just “unlove” someone. Even if they have hurt me or have stopped loving me, I still care for them. I may go on record and say that I hate them or I am not bothered with them but in my heart I still do bother and I do think about them.

I’m not in love with the idea of love. I fall in love with people, with places, with memories. And even if I’m away from them, I always keep them in my good wishes. It’s not possible for me to stop loving someone.

A perfect love is impossible because it’s the flaws that we fall in love with.

 

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Looking back…

One last time, so that this time when I look ahead, hopefully, I will not want to return.

2018 was a very difficult year for me. Too many things changed and I couldn’t keep up with it. There were days when the clouds didn’t clear. And when I used to ‘let out the storm’ it used to be a temporary escape. I could never truly be happy. My insecurities never let me be. I don’t know from where I brought the courage that I did to hold me up. So it’s a sort of relief to let 2018 go by.

I don’t believe in fresh new starts. Everything is gradual when it comes to me. I want to not have any expectations and in return I don’t want anything to mess with me. Whenever it wants, acceptance will come to me one day. Inching forward with baby steps to where ever this ride goes to next. 2019, let’s figure out stuff as and when it happens.

November in Pictures

Nov 1st

 

The Big Book Box finally arrived and I was pretty excited about it. I had developed the B3 Buzz which fuelled me through the whole day.

 

Nov 2nd

 

 

Uneventful day, me crashing out at the end of it.

 

 

Nov 3rd                                                                                                                                                     

   

I could never convince Biradar to wear Manyawar, so I convinced Dad instead.

Nov 4th

Met these two after a longg time.

Nov 5th

 

This popup quiz in office had me squealing in delight. And then I remembered that numbers is not really my game.

 

 

Nov 6th

I was intent on making this Diwali a good one. I tried some Rangoli doodles. I even found time to complete The Book of M. The festive spirit was really rubbing it’s pixie dust on me.

 

 

 

 

My favourite pic of the day.

Nov 7th

 

Good work day. In fact, a writing idea struck me in the evening as well and I couldn’t sleep because I felt like completing what I started to write out.

 

 

 

Nov 8th

 

 

I finished writing the first chapter. I finished my work. I ordered so many things off the Internet. I also read a book. I did almost a good amount of stuff. But I don’t know I still felt useless.

 

 

 

Nov 9th

Writing. Crying. Forgot some words again.

Nov 10th
Meetups. Relatives. Sleep overs.
We got the Master Bed.

Nov 11th
Double celebration.

     

Too many pictures this time. And food was too good too.

  

Nov 12th

“Your bag of joy is delivered. Hope it brought a smile to your face.”

Alas, it did not even fit me.

Nov 13th

Ate Thali out in a long time. And the Modso Thali in Jess was really good that day.

Nov 14th

 

 

I feel relatively calm after I let the storm out. And surprisingly, the rest of the day went by smoothly. My friends know exactly what to get for me.

I am a Caprese Tote Girl now 😀

 

 

 

Nov 15th

 

 

 

It is my routine. Me, coffee and chocolate cookies.

 

 

 

 

Nov 16th
My b’day 😊

    

Nov 17th

 

 

My last drink, maybe, before wedding.

 

 

 

 

Nov 18th

More celebrations   & The Shivan Spread 

Nov 19th

The Cisco look on my “parloured” face (bcoz there’s never any noticeable difference)

Nov 20th

 

 

 

Celebrations don’t seem to end!!

 

 

 

 

Nov 21st

 

 

Devkarya at Karai

 

 

 

 

 

Nov 22nd

 

 

Mehendi. And a Storm.

 

 

 

Nov 23rd

 

 

Clatter. Chatter.

 

 

 

 

 

Nov 24th
Henna, Haldi and some Masti

   

Nov 25th
D day

Nov 26th
The day after

Nov 27th

 

 

Temple run

 

 

 

Nov 28th
Unpacking day.

Nov 29th

 

Period day calls for mood swings and a tired face.

 

 

Nov 30th

 

 

 

Yes I did “help” in some household work 😝

 

 

 

 

So, that was my month. This year the November month has put a new meaning in my shweta1625 id. Like my friend once accurately observed, I get super excited about November when it’s coming and once it comes I don’t even feel like celebrating.