November in Pictures

Nov 1st


The Big Book Box finally arrived and I was pretty excited about it. I had developed the B3 Buzz which fuelled me through the whole day.


Nov 2nd



Uneventful day, me crashing out at the end of it.



Nov 3rd                                                                                                                                                     


I could never convince Biradar to wear Manyawar, so I convinced Dad instead.

Nov 4th

Met these two after a longg time.

Nov 5th


This popup quiz in office had me squealing in delight. And then I remembered that numbers is not really my game.



Nov 6th

I was intent on making this Diwali a good one. I tried some Rangoli doodles. I even found time to complete The Book of M. The festive spirit was really rubbing it’s pixie dust on me.





My favourite pic of the day.

Nov 7th


Good work day. In fact, a writing idea struck me in the evening as well and I couldn’t sleep because I felt like completing what I started to write out.




Nov 8th



I finished writing the first chapter. I finished my work. I ordered so many things off the Internet. I also read a book. I did almost a good amount of stuff. But I don’t know I still felt useless.




Nov 9th

Writing. Crying. Forgot some words again.

Nov 10th
Meetups. Relatives. Sleep overs.
We got the Master Bed.

Nov 11th
Double celebration.


Too many pictures this time. And food was too good too.


Nov 12th

“Your bag of joy is delivered. Hope it brought a smile to your face.”

Alas, it did not even fit me.

Nov 13th

Ate Thali out in a long time. And the Modso Thali in Jess was really good that day.

Nov 14th



I feel relatively calm after I let the storm out. And surprisingly, the rest of the day went by smoothly. My friends know exactly what to get for me.

I am a Caprese Tote Girl now 😀




Nov 15th




It is my routine. Me, coffee and chocolate cookies.





Nov 16th
My b’day 😊


Nov 17th



My last drink, maybe, before wedding.





Nov 18th

More celebrations   & The Shivan Spread 

Nov 19th

The Cisco look on my “parloured” face (bcoz there’s never any noticeable difference)

Nov 20th




Celebrations don’t seem to end!!





Nov 21st



Devkarya at Karai






Nov 22nd



Mehendi. And a Storm.




Nov 23rd



Clatter. Chatter.






Nov 24th
Henna, Haldi and some Masti


Nov 25th
D day

Nov 26th
The day after

Nov 27th



Temple run




Nov 28th
Unpacking day.

Nov 29th


Period day calls for mood swings and a tired face.



Nov 30th




Yes I did “help” in some household work 😝





So, that was my month. This year the November month has put a new meaning in my shweta1625 id. Like my friend once accurately observed, I get super excited about November when it’s coming and once it comes I don’t even feel like celebrating.


Calm Babble

At the beginning of this year I din imagine that by the end of it I would be married.

Everything happened to me in a flash. Before I could wrap my head around what hit me, I was already floating past an engagement, rituals, relatives, the wedding flurry. I didn’t get time to process things.

I haven’t let myself feel anything by scanning just the tip of the iceberg. Underneath is a glacier I don’t want getting to me.

I feel tension, i feel an anger. I don’t have a commitment phobia. I am a loyal person but I fear that I may not be able to keep up with the change.

And this is a huge change. A change that I was looking for. I wanted everything to change. I am getting that. But this is slighter bigger than I can handle. Because it involves a lot of people. It’s not just something that happening only to me.

It might not be that hard. It might not be easy either. It’s just something I’ll have to figure out for myself.

The Intermission

Somehow I feel like my life is getting divided into two clean chapters. The one that I have lived so far and the one that I am going to live later. And this period right now, feels like an intermission between them.

However, an intermission in which my head is swimming with thoughts. And they are not just one directional thoughts , they are conflicts. They are at war with each other and I feel like an observer in my own life.

My biggest moments feel like nothing to me. The tiniest things make me sad. I carry around a guilt with me – of my past mistakes, about the way I make people feel. I feel a mixture of self pity and self loathing. I cannot bring myself to break out of it, to like me or at the very least to be at peace with the way I am.

I don’t feel close enough to explain my feelings to anyone. And I also think that they don’t understand it the way that I am feeling it. Of course, I know that my family and friends have my best interests at hearts and I know they will do anything to keep me happy but how do I keep myself happy?

All my life, whenever I wanted something really dearly, I never got it. I always had to make do with whatever came my way , with whatever was happening to me. Okay, I don’t want to pity myself. Because, I, in my full senses , made the choice of keeping the happiness of others intact over my own. I wanted something and I never pursued it because I didn’t want the repercussions of my choices to affect my family and friends.

It hurts me. It hurts me badly. Still after all this time. I don’t have the education that I longed for, the career that I wanted nor do I have the person I love with me. I don’t have any of it because I made this tragic choice. I molded my life into what it has become today. I have only me to blame for.

I know all the theories of leaving the past behind and moving forward. But trust me, when I set out to practice it, it exhausts me. It drains me of all the will power that I mustered. It poofs away my so called motivation into dust within seconds. So, any minor disturbance in my day goes from becoming a momentary inconvenience to an open coffin full of past mistakes and guilt.

Look at the future and take decisions they say. I did that. With a practical mind. And now, I can’t see anything in front of me. I can’t see anything that’s going to shape into profound moments or even anything that’s going to be special in its own way anymore.

Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I’m right. But I hope I am with me in whatever happens to me after the intermission.