Mood diaries #5

I can’t just “unlove” someone. Even if they have hurt me or have stopped loving me, I still care for them. I may go on record and say that I hate them or I am not bothered with them but in my heart I still do bother and I do think about them.

I’m not in love with the idea of love. I fall in love with people, with places, with memories. And even if I’m away from them, I always keep them in my good wishes. It’s not possible for me to stop loving someone.

A perfect love is impossible because it’s the flaws that we fall in love with.


Looking back…

One last time, so that this time when I look ahead, hopefully, I will not want to return.

2018 was a very difficult year for me. Too many things changed and I couldn’t keep up with it. There were days when the clouds didn’t clear. And when I used to ‘let out the storm’ it used to be a temporary escape. I could never truly be happy. My insecurities never let me be. I don’t know from where I brought the courage that I did to hold me up. So it’s a sort of relief to let 2018 go by.

I don’t believe in fresh new starts. Everything is gradual when it comes to me. I want to not have any expectations and in return I don’t want anything to mess with me. Whenever it wants, acceptance will come to me one day. Inching forward with baby steps to where ever this ride goes to next. 2019, let’s figure out stuff as and when it happens.