Gauging and Shelving

We all have dreams. So, we paint a picture of what this dream looks like, of how we feel when it comes true. And we hold that image in our mind. But when, we do not take any actions towards moving closer to this dream, the image dangling infront of us begins to torture us.

I recently did an analysis of my goals in life and I realized that all the ones that I am not working actively towards need to be shifted to backlog. Instead, I am going to focus on those goals which I can turn into actionable steps.

I like to access my work to determine if I am on the right track. And, by learning it the hard way, I am going to finally try to do it right. By measuring my progress against myself. By reminding myself of where I started with/from to where I am now. To track that curve and watch it rise steadily higher.

Coz this is how I need to keep moving forward.

What can I do to make myself feel better?

I constantly ask this question to myself – when I am lying in bed staring at the rotating ceiling fan; when I look at my face in the mirror while I insert my contacts; when I am in a room full of people attending a get together; when I am trying to resurrect a dying hobby:

What can I do to make myself feel better?

Some think I should just pull up my socks, wear my positive hat and smile. But they don’t understand that I have misplaced all those things; I don’t remember when I last used them.

I want to help myself but I don’t know how to do it. I have run out of every option, just like I have run out of motivation. I want to but I it just doesn’t work like before.