For the last two years, I have been trying consciously to focus on self-care as a priority.
But there are certain factors that make this process hard at times.
- It is difficult to practise. For instance: limiting my social media time. It was easy to draw a schedule for no screen time but when it comes to actually following it – there’s that temptation, a need for distraction or just the fact that I’m not able to go to sleep that draws me back online.
- Lack of instant measurable results. I’m used to tracking my progress on things. Hence, when I’m trying to work on my insecurities, and there are no visible results to look at, how do I know if there is progress?
- Reactions of others. Now, I know, how people react is not in our hands. But I get beleaguered by opinions irrespective of whether I have asked for them or not. And many times, these reactions are along the lines of “This isn’t a great achievement” “Stop being so loud” “I have bigger-and-better news” and then I’m at a loss about how to handle my emotions in real time.
If only self-care was as easy as putting on a face mask. But it isn’t! It is going to be a life-long process bcoz there is always going to be room for growth. And if you come across any self-help book that claims that you’ll be Zen in 30 days or after following 7 steps, they are probably not going to be of much help.
Found this article online about how family pressure defines who u become in life. It isnt peer pressure alone thats harmful. Family pressure if not channelled properly can also destroy a person’s self worth.
Sharing some excerpts:
“A family is supposed to be supportive, caring, and most of all — accepting. I have craved for all of those, all my life, but there has been none. I always found myself in the wake of conflict, and I lost all battles,because you don’t wage wars against your family, you just succumb.
My fears were that if I confided, people will laugh, ridicule me for the blatant truth. So I kept quiet and swallowed it all in.
There’s always a feeling that you are insufficient and incompetent. Although this feeling pushes you ahead in life and provides you with the fuel that charges you to work harder, it also leaves you torn and broken in some ways.
Every effort of yours goes unnoticed and every mistake goes highlighted. What you have achieved becomes insignificant and where you’re flawed is always in limelight.
You try to prove that you are better than the best, but even if you run ten miles ahead, it’s never sufficient. So you are exhausted, you are dispirited and weak. You eventually become cautious of everything in your life, your identity especially. You are painfully self-aware. Everything that bothers your family, you become aware of it.
If you are dark skinned and your mother complains about it, you try very hard to rub off the grime. If you are fat and ugly, you make an attempt to undo it. You can’t pass in Math, so you sit up all night, working so hard, only because you want to change their perception.
So when this mess-of-a-person goes past high school and breezes past college and meets the love of her life and decides to get married, what happens to her?
Well for me, I looked down upon myself, told myself I wasn’t good enough and walked out of it. Because I think I am not good enough.
One word for all the families that fight incessantly: it does no good, it’s hurtful and brings more damage than good. Robbing children off their identities is a crime that goes unpunished, and rips hearts silently.”