I am not a sage nor have I had an epiphany. These are just some things I’ve realized by making the same mistakes again and again and by going through some experiences on my own.
#1 Plans will never go as planned
I like to meticulously plan out stuff in my life whether it just packing a bag for a night out or picking out which subjects I want to pursue. And… none of my plans have gone as I intended. Whether it’s a tiny shift in detail for that night out or whether it is altering my whole course of career, my Plan A, Plan B and even Plan C have sailed through the windows.
And I felt so lost each time. It’s like the minute something goes the way I have not anticipated, my anxiety takes control of the carriage… chiding me and planting seeds of doubt.
You would think I would have learned to be prepared for change by now, but I haven’t!! One thing is for certain, if you plan to make lemonade, life will give you apples! You just have to search for the pie recipe!!
#2 Never take anything at it’s face value
As a child, I used to always believe in what anyone tells me, reasoning that why would this person lie to me. Growing up, I have realized that white lies are painted everywhere. Even when someone posts an Instagram story, there are lying through their teeth. Yeah, maybe their day was good but it wasn’t as great as they are making it out to be. And also, sometimes people pretend that things are going absolutely great while in reality the situations are really opposite.
So now, when someone tells me, what a wonderful time they had or even how much they like my new T-shirt, I know that, that statement is not as innocuous as it sounds.
#3 Respect it to be earned
Tired of respecting my elders out of habit just because we have been told to respect them, I have realized that respect in itself is of two types. One, the basic respect that as human beings we all deserve, of being treated equal, and the other respect that we give someone out of being inspired by their ideals.
Many of the elders in our society just demand respect because they are older. But respect isn’t meant to be given on a platter, it’s meant to be earned. There are some people who automatically gain respect wherever they go, not because they ask for it, but because of their actions and their incredible work. Now, that is the sort of respect, I respect!
#4 You are your own soul mate
I have always pinned others as my source of happiness. I still believe that without the support system of my family and friends, I will be alone. But I am realizing that the one person that I spent almost all my time with is me!! Family, friends, partners will be a part of my life for a certain period but eventually one day, they WILL leave. And I’ll be left with myself.
It’s high time I begin to fall in love with myself and care about my existence. Because I have to look after myself, no one else should have to.
#5 Good things take time
This is one quote that I have begun to appreciate recently. No matter how badly I want something to happen, no matter how much I push for it, I have realized that things take their own time. The effort part is in our hands but the fruits of the effort part is not in our hands, no matter how much we feel we deserve it.